How do you avoid sexual boredom?
Try a vacation from your everyday life, when you devote yourself to sensuality and intimacy. The insidious thing about sexual boredom is just that it creeps up on your slowly, or that it happens to almost every couple who spend years together, or that nobody talks about it. The insidious thing is that most people assume that sexual boredom is sign of something else, something more that just boredom. Couples, when they run into sexual boredom, tend to feel that their relationship is breaking up, or that their partner has found someone else, or that they themselves are inadequate.
All of the above are possible, but unlikely. It’s more likely that they are in a rut, a repetitive habit that has taken place so often they always know what is going to happen next.
What is a sensual vacation?
A sensual vacation is an hour, a day or a week when you leave your old routines and roles behind, and begin again to teach and to learn how to intimate. It’s a way of brining the feeling of summer evenings into winter days, of putting cares and worries into a distant perspective, of celebrating each other-of stopping the world, getting off the merry go round of life and having a look in another direction.
Some of the best sensual vacations involve all of our senses. A weekend for example, might include art galleries or movies or walks, a picnic dinner at a special place, a concert , a play, the scent of flowers, a relaxing spa day, an evening dinners at a hotel or just hors d’oeuvres or desserts in bed. The point is to involve and indulge all your senses, so that, for a time at least , you become creatures of pleasure and romance.
How do you spice up lovemaking?
Introduce a change to your lovemaking. Change is the renewing force of nature. Seasons and tides come and go. All living things change. The creatures that cannot i.e dinosaurs, die. Lovemaking without change loses the life and spirit it once had. You might meet in the afternoon, in the morning, or plan to make love in the early-hours. Changing the time instantly jostles old routines and gives everything you do a sense of newness.
Changing the place adds adventure. Your bedroom is only one place to have sex. There is also the kitchen, the dining room and the bathtub. Ask for something new, communicate. Set the scene, arrange the mood, music, candle light.
Tips for getting in the mood
Sometimes, strange as it may seem, a ban on sex can lead to hottest sex. In other words, agree for several hours of the night before to abstain. It can build up excitement that is tantalizingly pleasurable and breaking the ban adds to the enjoyment. It can heighten pleasure or build anticipation and desire. If you lovemaking becomes less linear and predictable you can discover new pleasures.
Try a bath which can be very sensual with play, teasing and rubbing
Teasing and seduction
Sensual touch, including kissing and cuddling
Expand your sexual commmunication
Outside the pressures of everyday life, you may feel less pressure to focus on performance but on pleasure. There is so much to discover and a sensual vacation is a change to try out a sexual fantasy you’ve always wanted to try, to make love in a new place, a new position , new surroundings. You can expand your sexual communication and escape old sexual habits.
Most importantly you can develop a sense that draws you out and makes you larger than your self. Sexual confidence is that sense of possibilities, humility and greatness that comes form the closest of all human relationships – intimacy.