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Pleasure & Self- Love 

What do we mean by self-love and pleasure, well its the modern way of saying masturbation. Loving and making time for yourself has to be a good thing. It should no longer be taboo but be a healthy, stress-busting part of your life. Self-pleasure has many physical, mental and emotional benefits. Most women may have experimented with self-exploration, but most of us are perhaps a little ashamed or don't do it regularly enough. Practise makes perfect and remember no one will ever pleasure you like you are capabale of, as you know where everything is. 

Image by Dainis Graveris

Why every woman should try self-pleasure

Amazingly there is still a lot of stigma around masturbation. It is really time to stop that and to understand that most of us are doing it and it's healthy, enjoyable and just good for your mind, body and soul. Female self-pleasure is different to male self-pleasure and has some disctint advantages:

  • It's a stress reliever: It's a great way to de-stress. Your body relaxes and has an overhall sense of wellbeing.

  • When a woman reaches orgasmthe hormone oxytocin which is also known as cuddle' hormone is released into your bloodstream. This will definitely help reduce stress and improve your mood.

  • An orgasm will lift your overall mood and just make you happier. As you get better at self-pleasure, you also tend to become more comfortable with your body and start having an real appreciation for it.

  • It will improve sleep: Orgasmic masturbation is fully capable of relieving tension, both physically and emotionally which will help you drift off more easily into sleep. As your body feels relaxed and satisfied, the tension is relased.  Your blood pressure also reduces and the body starts to relax with the release of endorphins.


  • Helps with menstrual cramps: Masturbation is considered to be a great period pain reliever. From those terrible cramps to headaches, orgasms from masturbation can act as a natural pain reliever with the release of dopamine and serotonin, helping with the cramps and headaches you may experience during your period.


  • Satisfying your libido: Depression, pain during sex and chronic illness can be the reson for a low female libido.  A pleasurable orgasm due to masturbation is great to keep your libido satisfied and alive.


  • An improved sex-life: When you explore your own body and learn how to perfect the art of self-pleasure, you become comfortable in your own skin and that creates self-confidence. Knowledge is power. Knowing what makes your own body feel good is powerful. Knowing how to make your own body feel good and how to guide your partner, leads to an enhanced sex life and a better overall sexual  experience.

  • Calm your body and mind: Masturbation is  one of the best self-soothing acts that has the potential to calm our body and mind . Don't be ashamed by the thought or act of self-pleasure. 


The different types of female self- pleasure

There are different types of masturbation and it differs from person to person. What is crazy is that most women don't know that there are different way to self-pleasure and the effects on your body? It not only makes you feel good,releases built-up sexual tension in your body. 

Most women unlike men spend very little time thinking about what they like and what makes them feel good. Explore yourself, get to know your body better. There's more than one way to stimulate yourself and these are the common types:

  • Clitoral masturbation: Whether you play with yourself using your fingers or vibrators around your clitoris, there's a tingly sensation of pleasure that's generated.

  • Vaginal masturbation: It's that throbbing feeling on your vaginal walls when you use a sex toy to penetrate into your vagina.

  • Anal masturbation: The orgasmic feeling or and the contraction you feel around your anal sphincter with anal play.

  • Combo and erogenous zones: when you stimulate all of  the sensitive parts of your genitals. You can play with both your clitoris and vagina at the same time. Experimenting with techniques is key.

What's the action plan?

If you are up for the solo play and want to try your fingers (pun unintended) on self-pleasure, here's an action plan to get you started and to set the mood straight.

Remember, you don't have to allocate a set time for masturbation, instead, just make use of quality personal time, just don't be rushed. Another important factor is to find a private spot at home that you are comfortable in and create your own personal space.  Whether it's the bathroom or your bedroom, a private space is important to create that mood so you can into the right headspace.

Self-pleasure is also creating a good sexual experience with yourself. You could try dimming the light, playing soothing music, light candles to set the right mood.Make sure you create a judgment-free zone for yourself and enjoy your 'me time'. While imagination is key, if you are still looking for some inspiration, enjoy some ethical porn or erotica to help you feel aroused. Feel free to let your mind wander and fantasize about people or situations.

Believe it or not, self-pleasure is a great way to explore your body and generate different sensations. Take your time to understand everything that makes you feel good, it could be different strokes or pressures. If you haven't already tried, explore erogenous zones like nipples, ears, or thighs to increase pleasure through your body. Don't forget to focus on your breathing too. It helps build a deeper connection with your body.

Masturbation is a safe way to explore your desires and learn more about them. There are several health benefits we often forget to consider. It's always important to prioritize self-pleasure without any judgement.

Image by Ava Sol
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